How to Remove a Hickey

1. Apply an icepack to the hickey as soon as possible after receiving it. You can wrap some ice in a towel, use pre-frozen ice packs or put a spoon in the freezer for a few minutes. Gently hold the cold compress to the skin for several minutes (up to 20 minutes, if it doesn’t feel too uncomfortable), remove the compress for several minutes, and then apply it again.
2. Try the toothbrush or comb method. Many people swear by it, but it’s important to remember that a hickey is a bruise, and they just take time to disappear, so don’t expect a miracle.
   • Lightly brush the hickey and the area around it with a stiff-bristled toothbrush or a comb. Doing this breaks up the blood clot and gets circulation going again.
   • Wait about 15 minutes. The redness and swelling will spread, but will be less obvious after about 15 minutes.
   • Apply a cold compress, as above.
   • Repeat if necessary. Depending on the magnitude of your hickey, this method may work or it may just spread the discoloration a bit (pressing too hard can make it worse.)
3. Conceal the hickey with makeup. The most effective is green-tinted concealer, as it's designed to negate red skin tones. Apply a foundation (one a little lighter than your skin tone) directly on and all around the hickey so it's not obvious you’re concealing something. Try an eyeshadow that’s lighter than your skin tone if sans concealer.
4. Cover the hickey. Wear a turtleneck, scarf or collared shirt or blouse (dress appropriate for the weather!). Style your hair (if it's long enough) so it hangs over the hickey. Frequently check the positioning of the covering agent, ensuring it still hides the hickey.
5. Use a coin. This method is probably the most painful, but has proven VERY effective. First, stretch the skin flat (pulling away from the hickey on two opposite sides). Then, use the edge of a large coin to scrape the skin. Use the coin like the hickey was butter on toast, and spread outward. The only difference is that you must press quite HARD (as hard as you can, but not so that you break the skin, bleed or hurt). What this does is push the excess blood, which has escaped from the capillaries, out of the surface skin. There will be redness from the scraping, but that will go away much faster than a hickey. Anyhow, a scrape is much less conspicuous than a hickey.
6. Put a spoon in the freezer for a few minutes. Apply pressure and slide the spoon along the hickey. The pressure and coldness help disperse the blood that has formed. You will need to repeat freezing as a warm spoon is useless. You must use a lot of pressure with the spoon but should see results over a few minutes of doing this.

Modern Love

Q: I've met a man who's 37 and he's quite interested in me. I like him but have no clue as to why he wants someone so much older. Some of my friends have mentioned that they've also experienced this situation; they get attention from younger men but rarely from those our age. I'm divorced and, ideally, I would like to find a long-term relationship again. Should I encourage him, or would it likely be a waste of time? He's never been married.

Are you afraid his attraction is only a boyish fantasy? It may be. But I find that younger men are often genuinely attracted to an older woman's self-acceptance and enthusiasm about life. Take comfort in knowing that you're part of a trend. In a recent survey AARP found that one third of older single women who are dating have a younger partner.

As your friends are noticing, women enjoy attention from younger men for the same reasons that many people seek partners who are at least a decade older or younger: it can be refreshing to spend time with someone who isn't facing the same fears, challenges, and hang-ups as you are. This motivation is also in the mix when a middle-aged man dates a younger woman, even though society often chides this as a purely physical pursuit.

Who are the women you think your young admirer should date? Most are either frantic about their biological clocks or single parents trying to establish careers. If he doesn't want children and doesn't want to be immersed in those concerns, what stops you from being his ideal choice?

You know the obvious downside. You grew up with Howdy Doody and he grew up with Scooby-Doo. But that's not why you wrote to me. So I'll answer the questions you wanted to ask but didn't.

First, will he enjoy his Mrs. Robinson fantasy for a while and then drop you for a younger hottie? In my experience, no. In fact, he's at equal risk of having you break his heart.

Second, will he run you ragged? I doubt it. In the couples I see with big age differences, the woman almost always has more energy than the man does.

Third, if your relationship crashes, will people think you're a fool and say, "We told you so"? Maybe. I don't know your neighbors. But you can't escape gossip and avoid all risk and still enjoy living. And, frankly, life is one big country music song, so why pretend it isn't?

Instead of fretting about the rest of your life, answer this: are you interested in this guy? If so, proceed with pleasure. Encourage him. As long as you're both rational and both know all the usual caveats that apply in dating (regarding lifestyles, values, income, etc.), there's no reason to run.

If you must think long-term, remember that women live longer than men do. You two may be more in sync than he'd care to imagine.

Experience Pure Love and Forgiveness

We can spend most of our lives on trivial issues. But Jesus Christ reminds us what really matters and what we really need. Our greatest felt needs are to be loved, forgiven, whole and alive. Do you feel compelled to somehow respond to Jesus’ death on the cross? Do you feel compelled to enter deeper into the experience of Christ’s forgiveness?

That feeling is no accident. It is a divine appointment.

Love. It's what we all want. To be loved is the most amazing thing that can happen to you.

But not just love - unconditional love, pure love. Do you wonder if anyone can love you as you truly are? Why is pure love so hard to find? Maybe it's because we keep looking in all the wrong places.

Maybe you have looked for love in your family. You have tried your whole life to please them and make them happy. But it was never enough.

Maybe you have looked for love in a physical relationship. You tell yourself, "If I share my body, I will feel loved." But you never do.

Maybe you have looked for love in popularity. "If everyone knows me, then I will feel loved and accepted." But that's a game you can't always win, and when you do, you are still lonely.

Where can you go to feel completely accepted? Where can you look to find unconditional love?

There is only one place where love never disappoints. The picture of pure love is found in God. God is love. But how can you know God loves you? How can you see it?

Through Jesus Christ, we see love at its purest. Jesus said, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). The picture of pure, passionate love is caught in the frame of Jesus loving you while hanging on the cross.

God made His love visible in Christ. And Jesus showed that love is measured not merely by feelings, but by sacrifice.

How can you know pure love? Imagine asking Jesus, "How much do you love me?" He would stretch out His arms, with His nail-pierced hands, and say, "This much."

You can experience His pure love.