Unhealthy relationships

We've all known someone who's been unhappy with their romantic relationship. Yet they stay rooted, glued to the status quo despite feeling miserable. Reasons can range from guilt and fear to family or financial commitments.

But there might be an even more compelling reason for leaving than simple ennui — your health.

Two recent studies on relationships and health have shown that sticking it out in an unhappy union can actually make you sick. The effects on your wellbeing can range from general, persistent poor health right through to serious medical conditions such as heart disease.

How to say I love you

So, here’s a true and pathetic story—with a happy ending, not to worry.
Way back, when I first started dating my now long-term beau, he left a message one afternoon on my voicemail, which ended with: “Gotta go. I love yyyyy — ummmmm — errrrrrr. Have a nice day.”
Yes, my beau had started to say “I love you”—then stopped abruptly. His subconscious, it seemed, wanted to say those words. But for some reason he couldn’t get them out—not even after five months of exclusive dating.
I found this especially troublesome since my beau’s speech impediment was not my dating norm. My last ex had swiftly said “I love you” — after a mere three weeks of dating — and then he couldn’t stop blurting it thereafter. I’d say: “We need more toilet paper.” He’d respond: “I love you!” But despite his words, my ex’s daily treatment of me didn’t communicate love as much as the desire to make me his, his, his (talk about jealous types!).
Possibly the most important vocabulary lesson to be learned about the words “I love you” is this: Your actions must always be in sync with these words—or they become null and void!
In my current beau’s case, I fully felt his love expressed daily through his actions. He was always clipping articles for me he knew I’d like. Recharging my cell phone at night. Bringing me chicken soup when I was sick. And yet saying this simple three-syllable phrase “I love you” remained a big tongue-twister for him.
Once I walked into the bathroom while he was applying his shaving cream.
“Are you trying to see what you’d look like with a big white beard?” I teased.
“Yes,” he replied, “This is what I will look like when I’m 75 and with a beard—and I hope I’m facing you then, too.”
My beau seemed to be emanating “I love you” at me. So, why couldn’t he just come out and say it? It seemed as if his subconscious wanted to tell me these words — hence why he told me “I love yyyyy —” …Right?
So I asked him bluntly. He answered honestly.
His definition of “I love you” meant, “I promise to never leave you (and might even want to marry you some day) — but the last woman I loved, I married — and that relationship was a total train wreck!”
The happy ending news from all this? Although it took longer than I expected for my beau to say “I love you,” when he finally did say it, those words meant far more to me. With all this in mind, here are some tips for saying those three little (but so big!) words.

1. Don’t rush to take that “I love you” out of the box—because it’s hard to get it back into the box after it’s blurted. Be sure you really mean it when you say it.


2. Recognize some people take longer than others to say “I love you”—and usually these people are “male” people. In general, women take longer to get ready for parties. Men take longer to get ready for relationships. And it’s not good to rush either along.


3. After you’ve said “I love you,” continue to share out loud the specific traits and habits that you love. Don’t just coast on this generic phrase or you will chew all the flavor out of it.


4. If you’re wanting to hear “I love you” and it’s not a-coming, it might not be for lack of love, but out of fear. Engage your partner in a conversation about what these words mean for each of you. It’s a great opportunity to talk about your fears and long-term desires—and who knows, it might get those words jumpstarted.


5. Don’t say your first “I love you” during a time of intensity—be that either making love or making war. If you say it during sex, you may just be swept up in temporary passion. And if you say it during a fight, you might only be doing so to gain control. Ironically, the more neutral the time and setting in which you say your first “I love you,” the more impactful it will feel.

Experience Pure Love and Forgiveness

We can spend most of our lives on trivial issues. But Jesus Christ reminds us what really matters and what we really need. Our greatest felt needs are to be loved, forgiven, whole and alive. Do you feel compelled to somehow respond to Jesus’ death on the cross? Do you feel compelled to enter deeper into the experience of Christ’s forgiveness?

That feeling is no accident. It is a divine appointment.

Love. It's what we all want. To be loved is the most amazing thing that can happen to you.

But not just love - unconditional love, pure love. Do you wonder if anyone can love you as you truly are? Why is pure love so hard to find? Maybe it's because we keep looking in all the wrong places.

Maybe you have looked for love in your family. You have tried your whole life to please them and make them happy. But it was never enough.

Maybe you have looked for love in a physical relationship. You tell yourself, "If I share my body, I will feel loved." But you never do.

Maybe you have looked for love in popularity. "If everyone knows me, then I will feel loved and accepted." But that's a game you can't always win, and when you do, you are still lonely.

Where can you go to feel completely accepted? Where can you look to find unconditional love?

There is only one place where love never disappoints. The picture of pure love is found in God. God is love. But how can you know God loves you? How can you see it?

Through Jesus Christ, we see love at its purest. Jesus said, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). The picture of pure, passionate love is caught in the frame of Jesus loving you while hanging on the cross.

God made His love visible in Christ. And Jesus showed that love is measured not merely by feelings, but by sacrifice.

How can you know pure love? Imagine asking Jesus, "How much do you love me?" He would stretch out His arms, with His nail-pierced hands, and say, "This much."

You can experience His pure love.

8 Ingredients To A Healthy Heart

While it’s easy to get caught up in the aesthetic component of creating a good workout and nutritional program, you really must not overlook the importance of exercise and healthy eating when it comes to maintaining good health. Even more important is ensuring you have a healthy heart because cardiovascular disease is rising at an increasing pace.

While there are certain factors you simply cannot control, such as a genetic predisposition to heart disease, there are some you can and should control. The sooner you start taking measures to prevent heart disease, the better you’ll fair later in life.

That being said, here are the top ingredients you need to keep your ticker working the way it should, as we take a look at the eight ingredients to a healthy heart.

1- Cut back on red meat

2- Up your consumption of dark-colored fruits and vegetables

3- Control your insulin levels

4- Make your own meals

5- Up your soluble fiber content

6- Reduce your cheese intake

7- Drink in moderation

8- Do intense exercise

Mental Health For Men

Mental health for men is being called a silent crisis, a sleeper issue that has crept into the minds of millions. At the heart of the problem are new and emerging pressures for men, stemming from changes in societal dynamics at work, and in family and personal life.

While the concept of mental health for men is nothing new, comparatively, gender-specific health awareness and research have focused predominately on women. Women have the tendency to band together, and they are more vocal and expressive about emotions and other aspects of their mental health. As a result, women seek health care in much greater proportion than men. Men, on the other hand, traditionally shy away from the health-care system, and we are only now starting to understand why that is.

Men tend to view partners and friends as primary health sources. When they do reach a physician, men tend to focus more on physical problems, and are less likely to discuss deeper emotional issues -- particularly if the physician is female. Perhaps most influential are perceptions around male masculinity. As it is seen unmanly to discuss weakness, mental issues become masked and often go undiagnosed.

Recognizing these barriers is only the first step to overcoming illnesses that might be weighing on a man’s mind. Greater understanding of new and emerging mental illnesses for men is equally as important, and hopefully the following will help to raise your awareness.

Ways To Keep Fit And Stay Healthy

You may have heard the expression, “Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.” In the same way, you could say “Once a coffee addict, always a coffee addict.”

But before I go any further in telling you my story about coffee and all the whys and hows of quitting it, you should now that now is a good time to quit drinking coffee.

You've been eating mostly well, you eat your fruits and vegetables, you've been reading Frederic's newsletter - but you think, “a little cup of coffee once in a while isn't that bad.” Plus it's good for the mood.

But I'm telling you right now that that cup of coffee, which I'm sure you're enjoying more often than you'd like to admit it, is preventing you from achieving the levels of health you desire.

12 Affordable Ways To Good Health

1 Sleep earlier.
2 Consider vitamin supplementation.
3 Eat more vegetables, cut down on red meat, caffeine, sugar and salt.
4 Never skip breakfast
5 Never eat an incomplete meal.
6 Don’t let yourself go hungry.
7 Exercise, and at the very least, just walk.
8 Don’t stress out.
9 Wash your hands often.
10 Toss the vices.
11 Think twice about joining weight loss programs.
12 Visit your doctor for annual tests.

Masturbation Techniques

Men have been taking care of "business" since the dawn of time, and many have devised strategies to enhance the experience -- somewhat. Without discussing the basics -- the Basic Fist and Basic Thumb and Forefinger, which no doubt you are all well aware of -- let’s delve into some more "advanced" masturbation techniques.

It has to be noted that many men may find it easier, faster and more effective to masturbate instead of putting in the time and effort to enhance their sexual relationship with their lover. Masturbation, however, should not replace a healthy sex life with a partner -- to do so is to lose out on the intimacy of closeness, and the effort and reward of a mutually beneficial relationship.

Studies show that, chemically, masturbating is 400 times less effective at satisfying ones sexual appetite than sex with a partner. Nonetheless, masturbating is certainly a favorite and pleasant pastime of men and women alike, and is a great way to enjoy and learn about yourself.

There are many ways to get yourself off, and with Male Appreciation Day in mind, here are some masturbation techniques you may not have played around with just yet.

Pelvic thrust with wrist

Deep scrotum massageWringing

Butt spread

Milking

Signs You’re A Sex Addict

Sex addiction can involve many different sexual antics; it may be a strong desire to have sex, masturbate, watch porn or flirt. A person is defined as a sex addict when his behavior gets out of control and starts to have a negative impact on his life. These feelings and behaviors cause a great deal of shame, hopelessness and confusion for the sex addict. These feelings are also normally accompanied by denial, despite it being an unmanageable problem in the sex addict's life.

Sexual addiction takes up a great deal of energy, and you know you’re in trouble when your behavior causes relationship breakdowns, job problems, legal issues, and a loss of interest in anything non-sexual. If you suspect you have a problem, read on for some signs that you might be a sex addict.

• You’re leading a double life

• You frequently seek out sexual material

• You’re compromising your personal relationships

• You seek out explicit sexual adventures

• You get into trouble with the law

• You have negative feelings about your behavior

Dealing With Sexomnia

I started dating this guy. It's been less than a week. He got drunk last night and stayed the night. He wanted to mess around with me, but I wouldn't. He tried and realized that I wasn't going to change my mind, so we went to sleep. When I woke up at 7:30 a.m. his jeans were off and he was masturbating. He had previously put his hand down the back of my pants, but since my back was turned, I thought nothing of it. When I saw what he was doing I freaked out, got up and left the room.

He said he was sleeping, and doing this in his sleep. Possible or not? I don't see how it would be possible. To take your jeans off and do that, just seems like a lot of trouble for someone who is sleeping.