Getting over an Affair

Ques:- How do I get over an affair I should not have had in the first place? He is married and so am I. I see him all the time and the old feelings keep coming back.

Ans:- Find a way to not ever see him again. Move if you have to. I think the healing needs to cost you something so you will never be tempted to do this again. Whatever it takes. Do your spouses know about this affair? You need to be in marriage counseling with your husband to find out what you two have that can make for a solid marriage and work on it. Strike the Original Match by Swindoll is a place to start. Get Five Languages of Love and decide what your love language is so you and your husband can meet each other's needs. You get over the affair by wiping the slate clean.

Dating Games

Dating games: As far as we're concerned they’re part of every relationship, so get used to them. Of course, some dating games are just harmless ploys used to uncover information about a potential partner, while others are selfish attempts to manipulate and subjugate. There are two ways to look at the issue of playing dating games in the relationship world: Either identify and learn how to react or do nothing and get continually played by the women in your life. We want to address the former approach, with a special emphasis on why girls play dating games and how you can easily turn them around and use them to your advantage.

Hard to get

You know this one: She comes across as completely ambivalent about any romantic possibilities with you, yet makes sure to say just enough to suggest she’s actually up for it. Keep in mind that the girl who plays hard to get does it because she can afford to. She has any number of interested suitors and she wants to see how badly each of them wants her. It’s one of the most common dating games around, but that doesn’t mean you should be fooled by it.

Teasing

She tantalizingly hints at sexual episodes and then retracts them when the time comes to get down to business. This dating game is nothing more than a means to gauge your level of interest or to remain in control of a blossoming relationship. She wants to be the one who dictates the pace of things, and why shouldn’t you let her believe that’s the case?

Inspiring jealousy

In this dating game, she flirts hard with other men right in front of you, making it abundantly clear that she is not yet yours to possess. She might do this to make you squirm or she might want to see if you’re the type of guy who gives up at the first sign of trouble. Either way, she plays this dating game to provoke a reaction from you, and you need to make sure that your reaction says one thing: I’m no sucker.

Jumping through hoops

When a woman plays the "jumping through hoops" dating game, she actually has the calculated nerve to put you through a series of trials in order to see how far you’ll go for her. She makes ludicrous and whimsical requests like asking you to go to the shop and get her a pack of Skittles (and then pick out the green ones when you get home). While you’re out, she might even phone one of her friends to tell her how tight she’s got you wrapped around her little finger. Don’t let this dating game happen -- ever.

Alternative Cancer Treatments

Cancer is a scary word. If you haven't experienced it firsthand, it's almost certain that you know a family member or a close friend who has. With the many forms that cancer can take, there are a number of treatments that go along with them.

Depending on the type of cancer in question, modern treatments usually include surgery, chemotherapy and radiation. Due to the pain and side effects of these treatments and their related drugs, there has been a surge of interest in learning about other therapies that can be done concurrently. Coined as "complementary" therapies, these techniques aren't to be confused with stand-alone alternative cancer treatments. Instead, they are forms of holistic healing that can improve a cancer patient’s quality of life by focusing on their physical, spiritual and emotional needs.

AskMen.com does not endorse or advocate any of these suggested alternative complementary treatments. They should always be discussed in detail with a medical professional or a certified holistic health practitioner.

Massage therapy

Thermo therapy

Hypnotherapy

Aromatherapy

Modern Love

Q: I've met a man who's 37 and he's quite interested in me. I like him but have no clue as to why he wants someone so much older. Some of my friends have mentioned that they've also experienced this situation; they get attention from younger men but rarely from those our age. I'm divorced and, ideally, I would like to find a long-term relationship again. Should I encourage him, or would it likely be a waste of time? He's never been married.

Are you afraid his attraction is only a boyish fantasy? It may be. But I find that younger men are often genuinely attracted to an older woman's self-acceptance and enthusiasm about life. Take comfort in knowing that you're part of a trend. In a recent survey AARP found that one third of older single women who are dating have a younger partner.

As your friends are noticing, women enjoy attention from younger men for the same reasons that many people seek partners who are at least a decade older or younger: it can be refreshing to spend time with someone who isn't facing the same fears, challenges, and hang-ups as you are. This motivation is also in the mix when a middle-aged man dates a younger woman, even though society often chides this as a purely physical pursuit.

Who are the women you think your young admirer should date? Most are either frantic about their biological clocks or single parents trying to establish careers. If he doesn't want children and doesn't want to be immersed in those concerns, what stops you from being his ideal choice?

You know the obvious downside. You grew up with Howdy Doody and he grew up with Scooby-Doo. But that's not why you wrote to me. So I'll answer the questions you wanted to ask but didn't.

First, will he enjoy his Mrs. Robinson fantasy for a while and then drop you for a younger hottie? In my experience, no. In fact, he's at equal risk of having you break his heart.

Second, will he run you ragged? I doubt it. In the couples I see with big age differences, the woman almost always has more energy than the man does.

Third, if your relationship crashes, will people think you're a fool and say, "We told you so"? Maybe. I don't know your neighbors. But you can't escape gossip and avoid all risk and still enjoy living. And, frankly, life is one big country music song, so why pretend it isn't?

Instead of fretting about the rest of your life, answer this: are you interested in this guy? If so, proceed with pleasure. Encourage him. As long as you're both rational and both know all the usual caveats that apply in dating (regarding lifestyles, values, income, etc.), there's no reason to run.

If you must think long-term, remember that women live longer than men do. You two may be more in sync than he'd care to imagine.

Living Healthy to 100

It was sunrise in the village of Hojancha when Tommy Castillo and I mounted a pair of bikes and whizzed downhill from his pink wooden house into the steamy Costa Rica morning.

Our route took us by the town clinic, past a mechanic where the rhythm of local cowboy music blared into the street from tinny speakers. With truants’ delight, we swooped down another hill past the village school, and from there, the houses thinned out. On one side of the road, buildings gave way to a wall of jungle. The road dipped to where the pavement bridged a creek and continued up a steep incline. Tommy, wearing a white-toothed grin and a Yankees baseball cap, stood up hard on his pedals and pulled ahead of me. I was breathing heavily. Sweat trickled down my back.

Off the main road, our wheels traced parallel ruts past a horse barn and a vegetable garden. The track ended in a clearing with a raised chicken coop, a tin-roofed wooden house, and a woodshed stacked high with split logs. Out front, a woman wearing a bright pink dress, hoop earrings, and carnival beads vigorously swept the jungle floor, sending up a dust cloud. Behind her, a few long golden pencils of light angled through the trees.

Experience Pure Love and Forgiveness

We can spend most of our lives on trivial issues. But Jesus Christ reminds us what really matters and what we really need. Our greatest felt needs are to be loved, forgiven, whole and alive. Do you feel compelled to somehow respond to Jesus’ death on the cross? Do you feel compelled to enter deeper into the experience of Christ’s forgiveness?

That feeling is no accident. It is a divine appointment.

Love. It's what we all want. To be loved is the most amazing thing that can happen to you.

But not just love - unconditional love, pure love. Do you wonder if anyone can love you as you truly are? Why is pure love so hard to find? Maybe it's because we keep looking in all the wrong places.

Maybe you have looked for love in your family. You have tried your whole life to please them and make them happy. But it was never enough.

Maybe you have looked for love in a physical relationship. You tell yourself, "If I share my body, I will feel loved." But you never do.

Maybe you have looked for love in popularity. "If everyone knows me, then I will feel loved and accepted." But that's a game you can't always win, and when you do, you are still lonely.

Where can you go to feel completely accepted? Where can you look to find unconditional love?

There is only one place where love never disappoints. The picture of pure love is found in God. God is love. But how can you know God loves you? How can you see it?

Through Jesus Christ, we see love at its purest. Jesus said, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). The picture of pure, passionate love is caught in the frame of Jesus loving you while hanging on the cross.

God made His love visible in Christ. And Jesus showed that love is measured not merely by feelings, but by sacrifice.

How can you know pure love? Imagine asking Jesus, "How much do you love me?" He would stretch out His arms, with His nail-pierced hands, and say, "This much."

You can experience His pure love.

8 Ingredients To A Healthy Heart

While it’s easy to get caught up in the aesthetic component of creating a good workout and nutritional program, you really must not overlook the importance of exercise and healthy eating when it comes to maintaining good health. Even more important is ensuring you have a healthy heart because cardiovascular disease is rising at an increasing pace.

While there are certain factors you simply cannot control, such as a genetic predisposition to heart disease, there are some you can and should control. The sooner you start taking measures to prevent heart disease, the better you’ll fair later in life.

That being said, here are the top ingredients you need to keep your ticker working the way it should, as we take a look at the eight ingredients to a healthy heart.

1- Cut back on red meat

2- Up your consumption of dark-colored fruits and vegetables

3- Control your insulin levels

4- Make your own meals

5- Up your soluble fiber content

6- Reduce your cheese intake

7- Drink in moderation

8- Do intense exercise

Mental Health For Men

Mental health for men is being called a silent crisis, a sleeper issue that has crept into the minds of millions. At the heart of the problem are new and emerging pressures for men, stemming from changes in societal dynamics at work, and in family and personal life.

While the concept of mental health for men is nothing new, comparatively, gender-specific health awareness and research have focused predominately on women. Women have the tendency to band together, and they are more vocal and expressive about emotions and other aspects of their mental health. As a result, women seek health care in much greater proportion than men. Men, on the other hand, traditionally shy away from the health-care system, and we are only now starting to understand why that is.

Men tend to view partners and friends as primary health sources. When they do reach a physician, men tend to focus more on physical problems, and are less likely to discuss deeper emotional issues -- particularly if the physician is female. Perhaps most influential are perceptions around male masculinity. As it is seen unmanly to discuss weakness, mental issues become masked and often go undiagnosed.

Recognizing these barriers is only the first step to overcoming illnesses that might be weighing on a man’s mind. Greater understanding of new and emerging mental illnesses for men is equally as important, and hopefully the following will help to raise your awareness.

Ways To Keep Fit And Stay Healthy

You may have heard the expression, “Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.” In the same way, you could say “Once a coffee addict, always a coffee addict.”

But before I go any further in telling you my story about coffee and all the whys and hows of quitting it, you should now that now is a good time to quit drinking coffee.

You've been eating mostly well, you eat your fruits and vegetables, you've been reading Frederic's newsletter - but you think, “a little cup of coffee once in a while isn't that bad.” Plus it's good for the mood.

But I'm telling you right now that that cup of coffee, which I'm sure you're enjoying more often than you'd like to admit it, is preventing you from achieving the levels of health you desire.

12 Affordable Ways To Good Health

1 Sleep earlier.
2 Consider vitamin supplementation.
3 Eat more vegetables, cut down on red meat, caffeine, sugar and salt.
4 Never skip breakfast
5 Never eat an incomplete meal.
6 Don’t let yourself go hungry.
7 Exercise, and at the very least, just walk.
8 Don’t stress out.
9 Wash your hands often.
10 Toss the vices.
11 Think twice about joining weight loss programs.
12 Visit your doctor for annual tests.

Romance Novel Love

Like most women, I'm a sucker for romance.

I love Valentine's Day, flowers, jewelry, and dinners on the town. I like to read novels by Francine Rivers and Jan Karon, and I even sneak a peek at the final episodes of dating shows like "The Bachelor," hoping unrealistically that someone might just find lasting love with a camera stuck in their face.
In fact, when I was eleven years old, I voraciously read every book in a series of teen romances. And as a budding author, I naively thought, "I could write one of these!" I ended up writing two. The title of my titillating novels? Magical Daydreams and Someday, Somewhere (gag!). I had no luck getting them published--not enough life experience with the subject matter, I suppose.

But I still held out hope that I would have my own romance someday, and I prayed for a Prince Charming. Imagine my surprise when that answered prayer and I had our first fight in the car, driving away from our dream wedding! He wanted to stop and clean the car of its "Just Married" debris--from top to bottom. I was ready to hose it down quickly and get to our destination, which was still an hour's drive away. Our second fight, which took place a week later in our newlywed apartment, was about how to organize the refrigerator. Can you say "obsessive-compulsive?"

Masturbation Techniques

Men have been taking care of "business" since the dawn of time, and many have devised strategies to enhance the experience -- somewhat. Without discussing the basics -- the Basic Fist and Basic Thumb and Forefinger, which no doubt you are all well aware of -- let’s delve into some more "advanced" masturbation techniques.

It has to be noted that many men may find it easier, faster and more effective to masturbate instead of putting in the time and effort to enhance their sexual relationship with their lover. Masturbation, however, should not replace a healthy sex life with a partner -- to do so is to lose out on the intimacy of closeness, and the effort and reward of a mutually beneficial relationship.

Studies show that, chemically, masturbating is 400 times less effective at satisfying ones sexual appetite than sex with a partner. Nonetheless, masturbating is certainly a favorite and pleasant pastime of men and women alike, and is a great way to enjoy and learn about yourself.

There are many ways to get yourself off, and with Male Appreciation Day in mind, here are some masturbation techniques you may not have played around with just yet.

Pelvic thrust with wrist

Deep scrotum massageWringing

Butt spread

Milking

Signs You’re A Sex Addict

Sex addiction can involve many different sexual antics; it may be a strong desire to have sex, masturbate, watch porn or flirt. A person is defined as a sex addict when his behavior gets out of control and starts to have a negative impact on his life. These feelings and behaviors cause a great deal of shame, hopelessness and confusion for the sex addict. These feelings are also normally accompanied by denial, despite it being an unmanageable problem in the sex addict's life.

Sexual addiction takes up a great deal of energy, and you know you’re in trouble when your behavior causes relationship breakdowns, job problems, legal issues, and a loss of interest in anything non-sexual. If you suspect you have a problem, read on for some signs that you might be a sex addict.

• You’re leading a double life

• You frequently seek out sexual material

• You’re compromising your personal relationships

• You seek out explicit sexual adventures

• You get into trouble with the law

• You have negative feelings about your behavior

Dealing With Sexomnia

I started dating this guy. It's been less than a week. He got drunk last night and stayed the night. He wanted to mess around with me, but I wouldn't. He tried and realized that I wasn't going to change my mind, so we went to sleep. When I woke up at 7:30 a.m. his jeans were off and he was masturbating. He had previously put his hand down the back of my pants, but since my back was turned, I thought nothing of it. When I saw what he was doing I freaked out, got up and left the room.

He said he was sleeping, and doing this in his sleep. Possible or not? I don't see how it would be possible. To take your jeans off and do that, just seems like a lot of trouble for someone who is sleeping.