Smooth talker

How to keep a conversation going

If dating profiles are anything to go by, 'good conversation' is something we rate highly in an ideal mate. So how do you turn stilted small talk into a proper conversation?

Starting a conversation with a member of the opposite sex can be a nerve-wracking experience. Once you've broken the ice, you need to keep the dialogue going, which for some people is ... wait for it ... easier said than done.

If friendly banter is something you struggle with, never fear. Our pointers will help you polish your conversation skills in no time.

Anatomy of a conversation

We've all had a conversation that hasn't exactly gone as we'd have liked. But we can learn from our mistakes. In order to improve your conversation skills, you need to revisit an embarrassing or awkward conversation from your past.

If you had your time again, what would you change? Your tone of voice? The words you used? Keep these things in mind. They are your conversational weaknesses and it is these things you need to work on in order to get your conversation skills up to scratch.

Sealed with a kiss

Why your first kiss is make or break

Have you ever kissed someone you really fancied only to find that after the smooch was over, your feelings towards them had changed? You're not alone, as a new study on kissing reveals.

The kiss off
According to the study of 1041 college students at the University at Albany, 59 percent of men and 66 percent of women admitted that romantic desire for a person had evaporated after a first kiss.

But what happens within the seemingly harmless act of kissing that can turn lust into indifference? Apparently, it's all in his or her kiss.

Unhealthy relationships

We've all known someone who's been unhappy with their romantic relationship. Yet they stay rooted, glued to the status quo despite feeling miserable. Reasons can range from guilt and fear to family or financial commitments.

But there might be an even more compelling reason for leaving than simple ennui — your health.

Two recent studies on relationships and health have shown that sticking it out in an unhappy union can actually make you sick. The effects on your wellbeing can range from general, persistent poor health right through to serious medical conditions such as heart disease.

The crazy way we met

Most of us have those strange almost-met-someone moments: Stuck in rush-hour traffic, you make eyes in the rearview mirror at the cutie behind you… or walking your sister’s dog while she’s out of town, you find the pup, well, strongly drawn to a poodle whose owner is adorable… Often, these incidents don’t lead anywhere, but for some of our lucky readers, they were the start of something very, very good. Read their inspiring stories, and be open to meeting your next honey in a most unusual way.

Sexual Statistics

A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies:

"This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"

He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."

How to say I love you

So, here’s a true and pathetic story—with a happy ending, not to worry.
Way back, when I first started dating my now long-term beau, he left a message one afternoon on my voicemail, which ended with: “Gotta go. I love yyyyy — ummmmm — errrrrrr. Have a nice day.”
Yes, my beau had started to say “I love you”—then stopped abruptly. His subconscious, it seemed, wanted to say those words. But for some reason he couldn’t get them out—not even after five months of exclusive dating.
I found this especially troublesome since my beau’s speech impediment was not my dating norm. My last ex had swiftly said “I love you” — after a mere three weeks of dating — and then he couldn’t stop blurting it thereafter. I’d say: “We need more toilet paper.” He’d respond: “I love you!” But despite his words, my ex’s daily treatment of me didn’t communicate love as much as the desire to make me his, his, his (talk about jealous types!).
Possibly the most important vocabulary lesson to be learned about the words “I love you” is this: Your actions must always be in sync with these words—or they become null and void!
In my current beau’s case, I fully felt his love expressed daily through his actions. He was always clipping articles for me he knew I’d like. Recharging my cell phone at night. Bringing me chicken soup when I was sick. And yet saying this simple three-syllable phrase “I love you” remained a big tongue-twister for him.
Once I walked into the bathroom while he was applying his shaving cream.
“Are you trying to see what you’d look like with a big white beard?” I teased.
“Yes,” he replied, “This is what I will look like when I’m 75 and with a beard—and I hope I’m facing you then, too.”
My beau seemed to be emanating “I love you” at me. So, why couldn’t he just come out and say it? It seemed as if his subconscious wanted to tell me these words — hence why he told me “I love yyyyy —” …Right?
So I asked him bluntly. He answered honestly.
His definition of “I love you” meant, “I promise to never leave you (and might even want to marry you some day) — but the last woman I loved, I married — and that relationship was a total train wreck!”
The happy ending news from all this? Although it took longer than I expected for my beau to say “I love you,” when he finally did say it, those words meant far more to me. With all this in mind, here are some tips for saying those three little (but so big!) words.

1. Don’t rush to take that “I love you” out of the box—because it’s hard to get it back into the box after it’s blurted. Be sure you really mean it when you say it.


2. Recognize some people take longer than others to say “I love you”—and usually these people are “male” people. In general, women take longer to get ready for parties. Men take longer to get ready for relationships. And it’s not good to rush either along.


3. After you’ve said “I love you,” continue to share out loud the specific traits and habits that you love. Don’t just coast on this generic phrase or you will chew all the flavor out of it.


4. If you’re wanting to hear “I love you” and it’s not a-coming, it might not be for lack of love, but out of fear. Engage your partner in a conversation about what these words mean for each of you. It’s a great opportunity to talk about your fears and long-term desires—and who knows, it might get those words jumpstarted.


5. Don’t say your first “I love you” during a time of intensity—be that either making love or making war. If you say it during sex, you may just be swept up in temporary passion. And if you say it during a fight, you might only be doing so to gain control. Ironically, the more neutral the time and setting in which you say your first “I love you,” the more impactful it will feel.